


Creature Comfort

by Nebulash



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Force Choking, Inappropriate Use of the Force, M/M, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-05-31 12:12:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6469624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nebulash/pseuds/Nebulash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ren reflects on the destruction of the Hosnian System.<br/>Hux approaches him in regards to his absence at the ceremony, but an explanation isn't the only thing he's after.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Creature Comfort

**Author's Note:**

> So it was only a matter of time...here is my very first Kylux fic. I've Nothing too important to say besides that I hope you guys enjoy it!  
> It was just supposed to be porn but it gotta all deep and stuff.

The weapon is ready. It will be fired, fated to doom millions in a powerful rain of hellfire, and at the trigger is General Hux of the First Order. A man Ren had become quite accustomed to seeing in the hallways of The Finalizer, in meetings with Supreme Leader Snoke, and during the small amount of recreational time that was offered to them in between their long missions and stressful projects.

Hux was a familiar hum of thoughts in Ren’s mind. Where everyone else eventually faded into the silence, Hux remained, and Ren isn’t exactly sure of why that is. Perhaps it was just Hux’s personality: cold, unyielding, with an air of authority that is simultaneously annoying and admirable. Perhaps it was something more, but It was certainly one of the few things Ren had allowed himself to accept and acclimate himself to. Even now, as Hux stands on the super weapon below about to cause the most destruction the Galaxy has seen in ages, he’s still a calm thrum of conciseness in the back of Ren’s mind. It’s almost comforting.

Ren was invited to the ceremony on Starkiller Base of course, but he politely declined under the lie that he had more important matters to attend to. If Hux had been disappointed in this, he didn’t show it, even in his thoughts. The true reason for Ren’s absence was that an act of murder of this caliber would affect him immensely - through the force. He was always connected to everyone and everything, and the amount of emotional feedback he would get from not only those poor souls of the Hosnian System, but also the 80,000 men and woman on The Finalizer, would likely be momentarily debilitating.

So now he stands, gazing out the window towards the streams of light that pour from Starkiller’s belly. The beams flying in an almost eerie calm through the vacuum of space in their destructive crusade. He wonders if anyone of true importance will die on these planets. Perhaps someone he knew once, perhaps an important General of the resistance was visiting the system to ask for more financial aid...Perhaps he is losing more today than he realizes. Nevertheless he keeps his eyes glued to the scene before him, face calm behind his mask. /You lost your mother long ago./

He feels it, slowly. As if blood is seeping from an open wound. As each planet meets its demise one by one the waves of fear wash over him. It’s not his own fear of course. It’s been a long time since Kylo Ren experienced true fear. But it almost feels real as it flows through the air and straight through his heart, causing it to twist and pound. It reminds him of that night, the massacre at the temple, so much death on his hands. The air had been so thick with dread and fear, just like now.

The scene unfolds before him, and unfolds all the same before Hux down on Starkiller Base. It’s hard to see much from where he stands, Ren probably has a much better view Hux thinks.

As quickly as it began, it ends, along with the millions of lives snuffed out brilliantly in a haze of light and debris. Ren closes his eyes behind the mask and pushes his thoughts to Starkiller Base below, to where Hux is standing tall and proud in front of thousands of his soldiers. He’s thinking about his father, of how he hopes the horrid man can witness this glorious display of his son’s power from whatever level of hell he’s trapped in. About his mother, and how she would have been heartbroken if she could see the monster her flesh and blood had become and the acts he had commanded. Hux’s stream of consciousness then shifts: He’s thinking about the future; Wonders if it will be different at all. If all of this was even worth it at the end of the day, Hux isn’t sure, but he’s devoted his soul to The First Order so thoroughly he’s not even completely convinced change really matters at the end of the day. As long as he’s devoted to the establishment of order, as long as he has a purpose - he doesn’t care who he kills, or what their death might mean. He’s powerful in this moment, with the fate of millions in his hands, yet somehow also weakened by the sheer brutality of the situation.This is a point from which there is no return. His Father must have felt this too.

Ren pulls back and leaves Hux’s thoughts. They’re heavy, confusing, and he’s already emotionally exhausted from the feedback of millions of people simultaneously experiencing their final moments. Stepping away from the window, he returns to his usual duties - Mindless tasks that he loses himself in until it’s time to retire for the nightcycle. He makes his way back to his room, removing his mask once he is behind closed doors, comfortable enough to be without it in this small section of the Finalizer that was completely his own.

 

In this time, Hux had left Starkiller base promptly after completing the attack and delivering his speech. There was little reason to stay around and after taking a such bold stand against the Republic it was in the best interest of his safety to be back on The Finalizer.

Once aboard, he resumes the technical duties required in blowing up 5 planets, filling out reports on his holopad and sending them to the appropriate recipients. After a while, there is simply nothing left to do and he finds his mind wandering to Ren. Hux wonders what ‘more important matters’ had kept Ren from attending. Perhaps Snoke had sent him away on some important mission that somehow undermined Hux’s shining moment of glory. He decides that he’s never been good at sitting by and waiting for answers so he approaches Ren’s chambers, unsure of what he really hopes to accomplish here. An apology? An explanation? Before Hux has time to decide on what his goal is, he’s already knocked his knuckles against the cold metallic door, the sound hushed by the gloves on his hands.

At this hour, Ren would not have his mask on. Hux knows this, and he prefers it. Looking into that mask always distills a mild feeling of annoyance in Hux. Why does Ren feel the need to cover his face? If only Hux could have such a luxury.

The door slides open and Ren stands there, more casually dressed than usual, in a black sleeveless tank and black pants that look comfortable enough to be sleepwear.

“General” Ren bows his head slightly, out of respect. Hux had done well today, it is fair to give him a proper greeting. He feels naked without his mask, but knows this isn’t the first time Hux has seen his face. Ren notes that it always seems to feel like the first time under Hux’s scrutinizing gaze.

“Why weren’t you at the ceremony?” Hux voice comes out quieter than he intends, almost slightly hushed, afraid someone passing by might hear the weakness in his question regardless of how deserted the hallway is. Why did he care that Kylo Ren wasn’t at the ceremony? Why did he need his approval? He didn’t. He was General Hux of the First Order. He needed no ones approval or support. He’d made it even this far without the support of his own flesh and blood afterall.

“I declined the invitation. For personal reasons” Ren says this evenly, but can sense Hux doesn’t believe the excuse. First it was more important matters and now it was personal reasons? Hux didn’t believe that at all. He should have figured someone as perceptive as the General would be able to see through him. Hux had the ability to read him like a book, even when he was hiding behind his mask.

“Mm Personal Reasons” the words roll off of Hux’s tongue like an insult. Everything Hux did was for personal reason: To stand there as proof he was more than what his Father thought he was capable of.

“It’s best to keep up appearances, regardless of ‘personal reasons’. Your absence was likely noted.” It wasn’t a lie, Hux truly did care about what the rest of The Order thought. With such a high profile individual missing from the ceremony it was likely to have been noticed by someone. Showing stability and cohesiveness between the upper ranking officers of the Order was just as important as the camaraderie injected and instilled in the Stormtroopers as they trained.

“You’re upset?” Ren cocks his head to the side, almost amused at the other’s obvious annoyance.

“I am not. I am simply thinking about what is best for the First Or-” Ren cuts him off. Hux hates being interrupted, but it’s something Ren does often,

“...I can feel it you know. What you did. The actual real implications of it, beyond whatever you had to prove to your Father.” Hux pauses, surprised by this, by Ren’s words. The genuine tone of Ren’s voice almost distracts him from the topic. Almost.

“Don’t speak of him, and get out of my head Ren. I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about anyway. ‘Real implications’ collateral damage, nothing but that.”

“Regardless of whether or not you care for the loss of life you just caused, I don’t particularly mind for moral reasons, but I can feel it, when things like that happen, destruction, loss of life.. - I can feel it through the force. It’s crippling. I needed to be alone.”

Hux stops, mulling these words over in his thoughts, Ren can hear the echo of them in his mind. “I do care.”

“I know you do. That’s why you’re here isn’t it? It isn’t praise you seek..its...comfort?”

Hux’s cheeks go a little pink at this. “Out. of. My. head.”

Ren steps closer, the distance between them is getting remarkably small. Hux has noticed this. It’s strange, because he feels absolutely no desire to pull away. He’s exhausted from today, confused as to why he came here, but Hux knows why deep down, Ren had said it just moments ago. It wasn’t praise, or acknowledgement that he wanted - he sought comfort.

“..Come in General”  
He isn’t sure whether it’s Ren’s force of will or his own craving for affection that moves him closer as Ren steps back, but now they are both in Ren’s bed chambers, with the door shut behind them. Hux feels goosebumps of anticipation prickle his skin, Ren feels them too.

“I figured you might be tired of everyone congratulating you.” Ren recalls that nothing had irked him more, than when Snoke told him he had done well, after he clearly knew he hadn’t. Snoke had helped him murder his class of Jedi. It had hardly felt like a victory. Ren can tell Hux feels similarly now. This was supposed to be his moment, but it wasn’t.

“You don’t know me very well”

“Hm, I think I know you better than you’d like to believe I do.”

“Then shut up and get out of my thoughts. There’s nothing in there that will help you to know me. It’s probably a mess.”

“It’s not a mess, not at all.”

“Excuse me?”

“Your mind...it’s not a mess. It’s actually very neat and tidy. I find it easy to navigate, like a database of information, but when I unlock the information, I don’t understand it. Like it’s coded, or in a language I can’t understand.

“Yes well. That’s not entirely all that comforting, but I’m glad my subconscious is putting up a bit of a fight. Don’t you have any sense of personal space? Head space included?”

“I’ve never had personal space. So no, not really. You know he was always in my mind.”  
Hux pauses, looks up at Ren’s face which always seems to look younger than he remembers after only seeing him with his mask on for quote sometime. He swallows.

“Well you should know well enough that people don’t want their deepest darkest secrets being sifted through like some sort of database. If I’m to be quite honest. I am tired of praise. I worked so hard to get here. I thought it would feel…-” Ren cuts him off once again.

“You thought it would upset you more, and you’re disturbed that it doesn’t. You feel empty, alone, incredibly so, like the things you’ve done have now exiled you from the group that qualifies you as worth saving. You’re afraid, that this step has made you become what you always feared most.”

Hux looks up at him, defenseless now, as if Ren’s words and perception of the situation were enough to strip him of his cold facade. He’s speechless - nobody has ever been able to figure him out quite like Ren can, and here they are again, with Ren pulling him to pieces like a broken china doll.

Ren feels Hux’s obvious discomfort and uses this moment of silence to close the distance between them, one hand rising up to gently caress the other’s face. He pulls his chin up gently, looking into his eyes. “You did well today...not because of what you did, but how you are handling what you did. It’s good that you came here. To me.”

Hux feels the heat rise to his pale cheeks, “And why is that?”

“Because I understand. You know I do….that’s why you came isn’t it?...I’m often the only one that understands you, it makes you feel safe…”

“Ren. For the last time, get out of my -” once again he is cut off, this time by a kiss, sloppy and rough as Ren’s lips collide with his. Ren has always been unpracticed, unpolished, even in the way he kisses. Hux doesn’t particularly mind this. He finds that it’s an exciting flair to his overly polished and immaculate lifestyle. Ren’s kisses always have the infuriating ability to melt Hux, body and soul, as if a kiss alone answers all his emotional thirst at once. It makes Hux feel desperate, needy, something he’s never wanted to be, and certainly not something he’s proud of. When the kiss is over and Ren pulls away, Hux hates himself for wanting more.

“It’s alright...to want more. I know you crave it.”

“Shut up”

“You shouldn’t lie to yourself General. It’s unbecoming. Giving into temptation is fine to a point. You can give into me, I won’t hurt you.”

Hux scoffs and pulls away, moving into the room to sit on the edge of Ren’s bed. “I’m not afraid of being hurt,or giving into to my..temptations.”

“So what are you afraid of?”

“Why don’t you tell me? Why don’t you try to get into this database and do something useful for once?” He taps his temple. “Tell me what I’m afraid of. Tell me how to best it. How to overcome it. Tell me what I want to fucking hear for once instead of giving me these cryptic messages I can’t make heads or tails of.”

Ren accepts this challenge, He sits next to Hux on his bed, slightly taller still even when they are sitting. He brings his hand to Hux’s face once again, stroking his cheek softly with his thumb as he gazes into his eyes, and then beyond into the fortress of his mind.

Ren focuses on pushing forward, swimming through the hallways and corridors.He maneuvers past memories that have no meaning at the moment, no purpose, but Ren makes a mental note to possibly return to them later if he feels the need. It’s like swimming through a pool of consciousness and memories, and suddenly Ren finds himself snagged within a current.

It’s impossible to ignore, Ren is pulled into the memory whether he resists or not. The room is cold, it’s raining outside, always raining. He feels the weight of a first smash into his cheek. Feels himself fall to the floor, surrounded by something..glass perhaps? Something broken, something that isn’t actually physical, a representation of something real that is now scattered across the floor. Ren looks up and sees a man. He’s older than his years, tired, angry. He’s shouting something Ren can’t understand, but that’s fine - Ren doesn’t care what he has to say. He separates himself from this fear. Pushes himself away, to the fringes of Hux’s mind. Now he is merely a spectator.

Hux is young,just turned 12, on the floor surrounded by broken glass. His cheek is pink from being struck, his father looms over him, screaming at him for making such a stupid mistake. It was an accident, Hux cries, he didn’t mean to break the glass. Young Hux’s attempts to clear the mess, but only cuts his hands. He cries as his blood drips onto the floor below. More reason for his Father to be upset. The man, Hux’s father brings his hand down across the boys face yet again. Words flow from the man’s mouth like rays from a blaster, piercing Hux in all the ways that will certainly destroy him. The man steps forward, looming closer, he grabs a handful of Hux’s gorgeous red hair, then throws him to the ground. He lies there, bleeding and broken among the shattered pieces of glass.

Ren comes back to present time, eyes wide, afraid, staring blankly at Hux.

Hux looks just as confused, slightly afraid at whatever Ren might have seen. It all makes sense now. The fierce determination behind Hux’s gaze. The endless devotion and commitment that Hux poured into literally everything he touched. He looks at Hux with pity.

“Never, ever look at me that way again so help me god I with shove you out of the airlock.”

This brings Ren back to himself completely, away from younger Hux’s vulnerable state of mind. Ren collects his thoughts momentarily, putting his words into place - he always must do this when trying to convey his thoughts well.

“Don’t….”Ren finds himself unable to cough out the words he had planned for himself momentarily prior. “Don’t do this for him…Don’t do anything for him. This isn’t his fight, It’s yours. This isn’t his life, it’s yours. These aren’t his dreams…….they’re yours.”

Hux looks at him, eyes blue and wide, he laughs under his breath “You’re one to talk...What did you see?”

“Enough to understand….come here.”

And with this, Ren kisses him, softly, This is almost a surprise to Hux, who is much more familiar with Ren’s more drastic motions. Hux melts into him, weakened slightly by the contact Ren has had with his mind. He feels it, almost like a tunnel boring through his farthest memories, all the way back to the those precious things he had shut away so tightly. He should have known that Ren would eventually find a way to unlock them all, no matter how hard Hux tried to guard them.

Ren moves over Hux, pushing him onto his back with minimal effort and moving on top of him slyly, his hand moving to undo the zipper at the front of Hux’s uniform. He peels it off slowly, peppering Hux’s pale skin underneath with kisses. As he does this Ren taps into his thoughts to gauge the his reaction, only moving forward when the other felt adequately satisfied. Every touch sends chills down the General’s spine

Hux is a mix of comfort and confusion; Comfort that Ren always left a solid trace in his mind, regardless of how clever or sneaky he thinks he is; confusion from the fact that he knew he had more or less shown Ren to the vision, opening up his mind and leading him towards the one thing he hated most. His father. He wasn’t sure why he so desperately needed Ren to understand this detail, but whether he liked it or not Ren was now aware of the situation. He knew Hux was abused and pitied him therefore...how charming Hux thought sarcastically.

Ren continues to press his lips softly against Hux’s skin after removing Hux’s uniform and undergarments. Moving across his chest and down to his stomach, dipping below his navel to leave soft kisses one by one along the trail of soft red hair that runs under his belly button and slips below his uniform issue briefs. These kisses are so welcome, and so warm, that Hux somehow forgets his hate for pity, and starts to treasure each and every time Ren’s lips caress his skin.

“...please…”

Ren stops, broken from his trance by Hux’s voice. It was so uncharacteristic of Hux,that Ren almost thinks he was hearing things….”please what?”

Hux hadn’t meant to speak at all, he truly hadn’t. Somewhere deep inside of him had risen to speak this plea for more. His cheeks are flushed, he looks away. “Please at least get undressed as well….I feel...indecent like this.”

At this, Ren removes his black tank, exposing his chiseled torso. Hux takes a moment to enjoy the view, and Ren can't help but to hear his thoughts. He likes this, thinks I'm attractive, wants to touch me, wants me to touch him..wants more than that though. Hux always wants more. He's imagining me inside of him. So Ren removes his pants as well, he’s wearing nothing underneath them, He had intended to sleep within the hour, though now sleep couldn’t be further from his mind.

Once undressed, he presses his chest against Hux’s, enjoying for a moment just how small the other is without the pomp and circumstance of his uniform. It truly does make him seem so much larger than he is, but Ren loves seeing him like this. This is /his/ version of Hux that only he gets to see, feel, and experience. After seeing someone be so violent towards Hux through his memories, Ren feels the need to hold him, to kiss him, to make him feel like he deserves these gentle touches. Ren has already sensed that Hux is inclined to believe that he deserves nothing good out of this world. He’s wrong.

Ren gazes down into the other man’s eyes before kissing and licking gently along his chin, moving down to his neck where he bites and bruises and mark’s Hux in all the places he knows his uniform collar will hide. Hux’s hands are in his dark hair, pushing it back away from his face as he paints the General’s pale skin shades of red and purple with his teeth and lips.

“Tonight is for you. I want you to relax. Let me give you this.” Hux swallows and nods, eyes half lidded and lips swollen from the kisses. His hands are still in Ren’s hair, so he tugs him down and crushes their lips together, craving to be close once again. Ren likes it when Hux takes control, it’s a nice reminder that the other does in fact want this, he wants to be close, he wants Ren’s kisses. He wants all of Ren.

Sliding down his body again, Ren kisses and sucks a few more red marks down Hux’s chest and stomach. He peels his briefs off and lets them fall away, exposing Hux’s cock. He’s hard, pre-cum leaking from the tip in anticipation. Hux feels overly exposed once again, so Ren quickly takes action, swallowing his cock expertly, lips soft and pliant as they slide over the sensitive skin.

Hux’s hands are in his hair again, but they are tugging now, grasping and holding on as he writhes underneath Ren in pleasure. Ren moans around his length, turned on immensely by the pain Hux is causing as he tugs his thick black hair, it’s intense, Ren loves it. He closes his eyes and moans around Hux’s length as he takes him deeper, deciding in the back of his mind to try something a little new this time.

While still keeping his mouth around his cock, he focuses on Hux’s entrance, pushing him open slowly with the force, imagining his fingers doing the work.

This earns a gasp from Hux. It feels strange, not in a bad way, just in an unusual way Hux can’t seem to discern. He’s feeling too many sensations to focus on one, and can only gasp and moan softly as Ren continues, prying him open so gently with his powers.

“F-fuck…” Hux ignores the small amount of pain and relaxes once again.

Ren pulls off just for a moment, an opportunity to catch his breath is much appreciated. He kisses and bites along Hux’s gorgeous thighs, leaving a few red marks there too, all the while still occupying him with the force, stretching him open a bit more every few moments. Hux is clawing at the sheets now that Ren is out of his grasp. He wants more, so much more, wants Ren to give him everything.

“Just a bit more, be patient..” This earns him a scoff from Hux, who is in absolute pieces already, hating himself for how needy he feels. Ren continues, pushing him wider and deeper with the force, using it to massage the inside of his General, pushing tenderly against his prostate as he finishes preparing him for what has yet to come.  
Ren floats a small bottle of lubricant over to where they lay and slicks himself up unceremoniously. Hux watches from his spot on the bed, flushed and open and wanting more.

They haven't done it this way before, facing each other. But it feels almost natural and somewhat familiar as Ren settles into position on top of Hux, guiding himself inside with grace Hux wasn't even sure Ren was capable of. A moan escapes Hux’s lips, it's deep and primal and he can't help but melt into Ren as he's pushed open. Ren moans too, through more softly, hushing his kiss against Hux’s lips. Being consumed by Hux feels perfect as it always did, but this was different. They were closer, this was intimate, not the usual brutal fucking Hux would endure for Ren's benefit.

“You enjoy it too. It wasn’t just for my benefit was it?” It’s more of a statement than a question, Ren knows the answer. Hux never let Ren do anything he didn’t completely want, and Ren never forced himself on Hux in a way that made the General feel afraid. They were intense, their connection needing more than the usual schematics to feel complete.

Ren begins to thrust, slow at first, finding his rhythm between Hux’s sweet moans of pleasure. He looms over him, enjoying the sight of sheer bliss that falls across the General’s face - another reminder that this was special, this was only for him, something Hux had given him willingly because it truly made him feel more complete somehow. He extends himself slightly through the force, using his powers to caresses Hux’s body, over his nipples, his stomach, around to his freckled shoulders and back. It’s a strange sensation that Hux has taken some time getting used to, he was never a fan of being touched by something he couldn’t see, but the feeling was synonymous with Ren now. And oh how Hux craved Ren.

Ren’s force abilities now settle around Hux’s throat, slowly squeezing until it becomes hard to breath. The dark-haired man speeds up his thrusts now, spreading Hux’s legs apart with his hands while pinning him to the bed with the force, invisible hands clasped tight around the soft skin if Hux’s neck. He whimpers and moans, back arching as Ren slams deep inside of him, so deep it’s almost like he can feel him inside his stomach. Ren scans his mind quickly, too lost in pleasure to really allow much of his focus to travel elsewhere, but the image he saw earlier is still in his mind, and he needs to make sure Hux doesn’t feel threatened.

He doesn’t, he feels secure. Wrapped up and pinned down and held still by Ren. Completely at his mercy. Ren finds Hux as an immeasurable amount of trust for him somehow, regardless of the many outbursts and tantrums Ren has thrown - Hux still earnestly trusts that no real harm will come to him while he’s in Ren’s care. After a while Hux begins to beg silently in his mind to breath, so Ren lets go of him. Settling back on top of him completely and kissing him in hard, open-mouthed, breathless kisses.

Hux wraps his arms tightly around Ren, short fingernails still managing to draw blood as they scratch down his back in absolute bliss and pleasure, he bites gently into Ren’s shoulder when the dark-haired man thrusts particularly deep, it still feels like the force is in him too, pushing against all the spots that make Hux’s head swim. When Ren finally finishes deep inside of him, filling him up, Hux too finds release, spilling across his own tummy with a cry of pleasure.

This proud man, who was just standing so tall in front of so many men has now been reduced to a puddle in Ren’s arms, his flushed face nuzzled tightly into the crook of Ren’s neck, holding on as he catches his breath. Ren is just as spent. He cradles Hux gently in his arms, moving to lay beside him on the bed. One hand pushes the sweat-damp hair away from Hux’s forehead, the other curls around his waist. Ren likes the way Hux’s hair looks when it’s messy like this. He enjoys few things more than undoing the tight, cold front Hux puts forward to everyone else.

After a comfortable silence, Ren feels inclined to scan Hux’s thoughts once again and finds he almost feels blissfully unaffected by his duties as General in his current state of mind.

Ren wants the silence to end. “...You make beautiful sounds”

“Shut up”

“Was this what you wanted General? Comfort?”

“Don’t call me that….General...not here. I’m not General here. You’ve never had any respect for my title.” Hux doesn’t see himself as General in Ren’s presence, he never really has. The other never showed much respect for the matter, and Hux frankly found himself getting used to it more quickly than he could be upset by it. Now he enjoyed this escape he could find in Ren. Outside of his duties and missions, Ren would always be here for no reason other than for /him/.

Ren agrees with this. “Titles are meaningless, I don’t see you for what other’s have deemed you. I see you as you are.”

“I worked hard to be where I am”

“I think you’re working harder to get away from what you’ve become...or what you fear you may become….”

Hux moves closer, touched a bit too much by Ren’s words. In truth, he had always been deeply afraid of falling too far into this system. A system his father had ultimately created to swallow him up. He usually felt like he was in control, but today, when he ordered the destruction of five planets and countless lives, he didn’t feel like that decision was coming from himself at all. He felt like a puppet, with strings soaring high into the sky controlled by the hands of someone he truly wished he could forget.

Ren can feel Hux’s self-consciousness and kisses it away, pressing his lips to his forehead, and to his lightly freckled cheeks. Hux had been exposed to a decent amount of UV radiation today, Ren could almost count the newly formed spots on his face. He wants to kiss them all before they disappear.

Hux breaks the silence, quietly accepting Ren’s kisses. “I came here because I wanted you...not just like this…-motions to their bodies pressed tightly together- …”I wanted everything….everything that comes with being close to you.”

Now it’s Ren’s turn to blush, it’s odd to hear such sweet words come from Hux’s mouth, but he accepts them gladly, happy to be able to still offer someone some comfort after all the horrible things he has done.

“You can always find me, I’ll always be here. Even when I’m not actually close, I can still find your mind and feel you. Come back to me when you need me….I will give you exactly what you want, always, I will provide you with the care you desire…with comfort”

“Ah yes...comfort...I certainly got that and then some. Thank you Ren….”

“Stay”

“Hm?”

“Stay here with me tonight. Don’t go back to your room, I want to hold you here. What I saw...it makes sense...and after today...you need to be held, I know you do.”

“Because you needed to be held that night too? After the temple….Snoke told me, I have a file on you with the grizzly details. But I’m sure nobody was there to hold you….were they?”

“No...of course not. I was left alone mostly, besides of how Snoke would enter my thoughts. He doesn’t do it like I do. He’s not careful about it at all. Sometimes it almost felt like he was pulling pieces of me away with him every time he’d leave me to my own thoughts...”

Hux says nothing, just sadly wraps his arms around Ren, pressing his face into his chest and drawing him in closer. He couldn’t hold Ren back then, but he can hold him now, for whatever that’s worth. And Ren can hold him, and maybe somewhere in between they can find whatever it is they’re looking for. Hux hopes this is the case, and it’s been a very long time since Hux felt anything close to resembling hope.

“...thank you as well...for trusting me” Ren’s voice is so quiet, almost like it comes from someone else...something or someone Ren had locked away himself.

Hux strokes his dark hair back and kisses his nose “You should find me too. When you need me. I will be here for you next time you need to be held”

Ren nods, turning the lights off with the force, drawing the blankets around both of them and cuddling Hux close.

“...My father felt like he was pulling pieces off of me too. He wasn’t force sensitive, he couldn’t read my thoughts, but that didn’t make him any less terrifying... I’m glad he’s dead…”  
Hux’s words stick to the corners of Ren’s mind, he can’t help but think about his own father, how honestly horrible he thought it was to have to grow up with him and be his son, yet here was Hux, someone with actual reasons to despise his father.

“Even if he wasn’t dead, I wouldn’t let him hurt you now. You’re mine.”

“Oh am I?”

“Mm..I’ve decided”

“Do I get any say in this? Whether or not I’m yours?”

“No...not really, but you can decide that I belong to you, and I would accept, if you asked.”

“....I suppose….that works out well enough for me then...a fair exchange...I’ll be yours if you’ll be mine.”

“Then it’s has been decided.” Ren’s hold on Hux becomes possessive for a moment, as if he’s mentally and physically staking his claim on the other. He holds him like that for a while until he notices Hux’s even breathing. He’s fallen asleep in Ren’s arms.

Ren pulls the covers over him just a bit more, cocooning him in close and warm, before closing his eyes and pressing his forehead against Hux’s, falling quietly into his dream and into his own slumber.

_Hux is young, he sits on a cliff, watching one of the first sunsets he’s ever seen. The clouds on this planet never clear up enough for him to witness this. He’s been crying, the remnants of tears on his red eyelashes are an indication of that. His shoulder is bruised from another attack from his father, and it stings as he stares out defiantly at the sun, unafraid of what its rays might do to his eyes. Don’t stare at it directly, his mother used to say, you’ll ruin your vision, but what did Hux care? Everything is determined to hurt him, even the stars. The small amount of sunlight is still warm on his skin, and he vows one day to destroy it, so that it can’t hurt him any longer. Nothing will hurt him one day, of this he is sure._


End file.
